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Psicóloga apucaranense reforça que educar com violência não traz efeitos positivos

Descobra o melhor caminho para educar sem estresse

O vídeo com cenas de agressão praticadas pela própria mãe contra o filho, um menino, de apenas 4 anos, no final do mês passado, em Apucarana, ganhou repercussão nacional. As imagens foram feitas por familiares que, inclusive, denunciaram a mulher. A gravação revela a dura realidade vivenciada por crianças dentro de seus próprios lares. Apesar de chocante, está longe de ser um caso isolado.

Veja também: Alerta- Depressão é doença sim, não frescura

De acordo com a conselheira tutelar Luci Fernandes da Silva, de Apucarana, são atendidos, em média, 5 casos de agressão por dia, tanto física, quanto psicológica, isso sem contabilizar outros tipos de violências como sexual e financeira.

Diante do vídeo e dos números, alguns questionamentos vêm à tona: violência educa? Quais consequências este tipo de comportamento pode acarretar para a criança (no presente e no futuro)?

Crescer e se desenvolver num ambiente marcado por agressões físicas e verbais ou insultos, desvalorização, chantagem emocional e humilhação pode minar a autoestima das crianças e adolescentes e desencadear transtornos como síndrome do pânico, estresse, ansiedade infantil, depressão, dificuldade de concentração e aprendizado, sentimento de inferioridade, entre outros. Confira:

A psicóloga Silvia Margarido, de Apucarana, reforça que educar uma criança com violência não traz efeitos positivos.

Psicóloga Silvia Margarido

“Talvez a criança até faça o que os pais estão pedindo na hora, mas por medo, medo de apanhar ou ficar de castigo. Aliás, qualquer forma de punição funciona na hora, porque a criança passa a ter medo daquela situação”, pontua.

Porém, a especialista alerta que vítima deste tipo de comportamento tende a se tornar medrosa, com dificuldade de se relacionar, inclusive, ter comportamentos agressivos com os colegas de escola. “É assim que ela aprendeu a resolver as coisas. Já na vida adulta, esse indivíduo poderá carregar muitos traumas e desenvolver transtornos, como a depressão. Não raro poderá repetir esse comportamento com os filhos, porque foi a maneira que aprendeu”, observa.

É melhor sair de cena

As crianças, não raro, testam os pais e cuidadores. Cenas de birra são comuns. Entretanto, a psicóloga orienta os pais e cuidadores, que são adultos, a manterem a calma e o controle da situação, mostrando para a criança que são a autoridade, mas sem deixar de dialogar. Uma dica é fazer acordo com as crianças, inclusive, vale estabelecer regras e rotinas da casa.

Porém, caso a pessoa perceba que vai perder o controle, que está muito irritada, a profissional orienta chamar outra pessoa para tomar conta da criança por alguns instantes, até se acalmar um pouco. “Nos momentos de alta irritabilidade é melhor sair de cena, se acalmar e esperar a ‘poeira baixar’, para depois tentar resolver o problema. Pois na hora da irritabilidade e nervosismo pode agir de forma impulsiva, e depois se arrepender”, orienta.

O valor do reforço positivo

Além da “Lei da Palmada”, que está em vigor desde junho de 2014, e tem o objetivo de frear a violência contra às crianças, a psicóloga Silvia Margarido, de Apucarana, garante que o uso de violência ou de palmada não funciona.

“O uso da violência não deve ser feito. Nem um tapinha, porque não é benéfico. O reforço positivo, esse sim deve ser feito. É olhar para aquele comportamento bom e reforçar, isso sim vai fazer com que os filhos sejam bem-educados. Além disso, também precisamos olhar muito para os nossos comportamentos, porque as crianças repetem o que fazemos”, argumenta.

Silvia orienta os pais e cuidadores como podem fazer o reforço positivo. “Para que a criança faça algo que eu queira; primeiro, eu ensino a fazer e, depois, quando ela fizer, eu parabenizo, elogio e até dou uma bonificação. Essas ações sim fazem parte de uma boa educação, que levará para a vida a adulta sem traumas”, diz.

Sobre a bonificação, a psicóloga faz questão de frisar que não se trata de presentear com brinquedos caros, pelo contrário. “As bonificações podem ser brincadeiras em família, um piquenique ou um passeio de bicicleta”, exemplifica.

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